The Power of Women Supporting Women
As a child, who had an unhealthy obsession with watching movies, I noticed an odd dynamic that seemed to always take place between the female characters. These women were more likely to be rivals than to be friends; competing for the attention of the clueless male lead. Of course, there were always exceptions, created by exceptional writers, but more often than not, there tended to be an Evil Queen-Snow White dynamic (obviously there wasn’t always an evil stepmother trying to kill the kid--you know what I mean). It was obviously these relationships that were so frequently shown on TV and portrayed in the media that seem to pit women against each other. As if the only way we could possibly associate with one another is to climb on top of the next person to get higher, or be more noticed. Which clearly just feeds in the entire idea of systemic patriarchy and internalized misogyny.
This notion that women aren’t capable of having lasting friendships with each other; that the relationships they form are all shallow and altogether meaningless has been perpetuated by a single concept that has been around for centuries. It was the commonly held belief for so long that women weren’t capable of feeling the emotions that are the basis of any real friendship: trust, loyalty, etc. It is this idea that still seems to seep into our culture today. That the only way women can view each other is as the enemy, someone to fight off and put down. To use as a stepping stone to some unseen purpose.
It is then, of course, this mindset that leads to the “pick-me-girl” mentality. In order to seem “different” and “desirable”, all things that are seen as traditionally feminine are put down and shoved aside as “boring”.
Girls are ostracized, because they’re “too difficult to deal with” and “predictable”. Yet again, the internalized misogyny makes its appearance, affecting young girls, and making them feel that they must say or do things that they really don’t want to.
However, despite what society has told us for so long, I believe that there is nothing stronger and more empowering than women supporting each other. Although, that aforementioned internalized misogyny has told us that we should dress or act a certain way to attract the attention of men, I think that I feel the best about myself when I get a compliment from another girl. Just knowing that another girl thinks that my outfit looks nice, or that I’ve done something interesting or cool, is one of the most encouraging things. I just feel like there is something great when women are able to come together, and support one another, so that we can all achieve things together.
This post was written by Sreya Kalapala, and edited by Shreya Arukil
